Well, if any goodwill has been built amongst my nascent audient during this fine run of actually good comics, I’m certain it shall be at the least eroded by the slightly abstruse subject of this comic. I made a bunch of Christmas cards for friends and folks a few years back, a selection of six or so of these excellent old comics which may largely be these from the last week. Anyway, those who got the cards with this comic seemed confused about why I would give them this comic. Everybody who didn’t get this comic wondered why they didn’t get it. A sighing sound occurred at the back of my brain. One, one thought to oneself, cannot won. Win.

This is from the “I can’t tell you what this is all about” section of my humor. And I really can’t. But damn, it’s funny, huh? I understand that certain artists, say Mozart for instance, consider(ed) themselves transcribers of some higher inspiration. Conduits to a muse. I sometimes feel like that. Rarely. Usually I’m the “I’ve suffered for my art, now it’s your turn” type, but sometimes it just strikes. But what the fuck? Why does Mozzy get gorgeous, legendary compositional works and melodies to turn the world stage while I’m stuck with the hilarious iv needle jokes? Meh, I suppose if we understood belighted inspiration, it wouldn’t be so mysterious and rare. Anyway, I’m glad to be your conduit for inspired moments like these, if only for all the blowjobs I receive in return.


In the back, we have traintracks, in possibly the least inspired backing image on the site. I will admit to fretting a bunch about this, as there is a certain amount of ruining of the comic that can be done by using a poor background. I think. So I took a bunch of shots around this traintracky area, though many of them were just too wierd. The thing is, if the thing in the backing is too eye-catching, it spoils the timing of the comic.

Timing? In a comic? Oh, yes. There is timing in these things, even if it seems logically inconsistent that there could be timing in a two-dimensional image. I try to plan how your eyes will travel down and around the page. Usually, we start at the top-left of the page and scan to the right, moving on down. With comics, I think I can catch people’s eyes with the words. That’s why there’s so much variety in text size and style. This comic, I think, catches you at the top right words, you read down to the signature, then on the way back up the body, you see the needle, and finally the eyes. So it’s a U, starting at the top right. Well, I think people start at the top left, then scan across the head to the words, then continue down in the U. So it’s kinda a J? With a U? Or like a – I don’t think I have a key on my keyboard that adequately explains what I want from your eyeballs on this comic.

Anyway, the timing gets screwed if something in the backing forces you to come into the page from the wrong side or starting somewhere you shouldn’t. Like if you see something unusual in the backing, and it’s off to the right side of the page, You come in at the bottom right corner, by the signature, and then I don’t know what happens to you. Do you read up the lettering and then over to the eyes, and then back down the body? Or is it straight from lettering into bkg? I guess my concern is do you even notice the needle if there’s a giant rusty iron train dildo in the backing?


Or do you spend all you time trying to figure out what the text means in relation to the giant rusty train dildo? Is there any way I can even hope to compete with that? Metaphorically or literally? Will the whole site turn into pictures of that? Maybe I should change the name of my site.


Join me next week at GiantRustyTrainDildo.com